Sorry Seems To Be The Easiest Word

You will probably remember the Elton John song, 'Sorry seems to be the hardest word'. I would like to disagree with that, albeit, worthy sentiment.

The act of saying sorry, whilst it can still be a bit galling, and perhaps difficulty to come to the point of actually apologising; think Jacqui Smith, the real meaning of 'sorry' has been lost. It has been lost in the sense of loosing what 'sorry' was really all about originally.

To apologise, to say sorry, had the context of not simply words spoken, but of contrition, of reparation, of making things right again. This principle of reparation, of paying back, is an ancient one, and vital to any social group or society. "Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house." (Holy Bible-Proverbs Chap. 6 verse 30-31). "The concept of reparations-payments made for damages inflicted by one individual upon another have long been regarded as appropriate social policy." (Apologies, Regrets, and Reparations - Stanley L. Engerman - Department of Economics, University of Rochester, Rochester, NY)

It wasn't enough to mouth the words, 'sorry', you were expected to do something to make things right again, or at least to attempt to make things right again. In other words, you had to take responsibility for the consequences of your own actions, or indeed, lack of action. Of course, depending upon what you might have done in the first place, making things right might actually be impossible. Then there would be other ways of making reparation; monetary compensation for instance.

But these principles have, to a great extent, been lost to our modern 21st century society.

Nowadays, a lawyer stands before a bouquet of microphones, reading a statement about how their client, '...deeply regrets what he has done' or '... is very remorseful over her actions' .... etc., and this is deemed to be sufficient. Well of course they are going to be remorseful, regretful; they were caught! But where is the reparation, the actions to back up the words, the repentance? And here we have the nub of the issue. Repentance. The meaning of the word is to, 'turn away/around from...'. In other words, a determined action of the will away from what you have done, to a new direction... an about face. And true repentance is always accompanied by action, by reparation.

Years ago, a Government Minister was caught out lying to Parliament concerning a serious breach of ethics and security (see this blog). He resigned and devoted his life to charitable works. Here was repentance and reparation in action; a true apology.

Even if a court determines that compensation is to be paid by the guilty party, there is no guarantee that the compensation will ever be forth-coming. Indeed, thugs and criminal just ignore such things, and often don't even get around to saying sorry either.

If we, as a society, paid more attention within our Criminal Justice System to the act of reparation by the criminal, to the victim, we might find that not only would the criminal learn something of value, but the victim might feel that their hurt/injury/damage/loss, has been better considered as well.

What Happened To Honour?

If I think far enough back, I can remember the Profumo Affair in 1963.  I was at secondary school, yet the scandal seemed to enthral, shock and appal the majority of people; even 14 year olds.

In a nutshell, John Profumo, the Secretary of State for War, had an illicit relationship with Christine Keeler, the alleged  mistress of a Russian spy.  He  then lied in the House of Commons when he was questioned about it.  However, caught out, he resigned and devoted the remainder of his life to charitable works.  He died in 2006, and it could be argued that with his death, so also died any vestige of honour within Government.

How different then the rich vein of lies, dishonour and deceit currently being mined by many of our Members of Parliament embroiled in the expenses scandle.  None more so than former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith who, via fraudulent second home claims, has robbed the tax-payer, i.e. you and I, of more than £100,000.  Has she resigned from the House?  Nope.  Has she offered to pay the money back?  Nope; at least not at the time of writing.  So what has she done?  She has reluctantly said sorry, but only after having to be forced to do so, and not from any sense of having done wrong, but from having to be ordered to do so.  She, of course, is not alone in this, as every day seems to expose new stones ready to be turned over to reveal the decay of British Politics lurking underneath.

In 1963, John Profumo did something wrong but had the grace and the honour to recognise this and resign from politics for ever.  Many members of the House of Commons would do well to emulate his example.