Sorry Seems To Be The Easiest Word

You will probably remember the Elton John song, 'Sorry seems to be the hardest word'. I would like to disagree with that, albeit, worthy sentiment.

The act of saying sorry, whilst it can still be a bit galling, and perhaps difficulty to come to the point of actually apologising; think Jacqui Smith, the real meaning of 'sorry' has been lost. It has been lost in the sense of loosing what 'sorry' was really all about originally.

To apologise, to say sorry, had the context of not simply words spoken, but of contrition, of reparation, of making things right again. This principle of reparation, of paying back, is an ancient one, and vital to any social group or society. "Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house." (Holy Bible-Proverbs Chap. 6 verse 30-31). "The concept of reparations-payments made for damages inflicted by one individual upon another have long been regarded as appropriate social policy." (Apologies, Regrets, and Reparations - Stanley L. Engerman - Department of Economics, University of Rochester, Rochester, NY)

It wasn't enough to mouth the words, 'sorry', you were expected to do something to make things right again, or at least to attempt to make things right again. In other words, you had to take responsibility for the consequences of your own actions, or indeed, lack of action. Of course, depending upon what you might have done in the first place, making things right might actually be impossible. Then there would be other ways of making reparation; monetary compensation for instance.

But these principles have, to a great extent, been lost to our modern 21st century society.

Nowadays, a lawyer stands before a bouquet of microphones, reading a statement about how their client, '...deeply regrets what he has done' or '... is very remorseful over her actions' .... etc., and this is deemed to be sufficient. Well of course they are going to be remorseful, regretful; they were caught! But where is the reparation, the actions to back up the words, the repentance? And here we have the nub of the issue. Repentance. The meaning of the word is to, 'turn away/around from...'. In other words, a determined action of the will away from what you have done, to a new direction... an about face. And true repentance is always accompanied by action, by reparation.

Years ago, a Government Minister was caught out lying to Parliament concerning a serious breach of ethics and security (see this blog). He resigned and devoted his life to charitable works. Here was repentance and reparation in action; a true apology.

Even if a court determines that compensation is to be paid by the guilty party, there is no guarantee that the compensation will ever be forth-coming. Indeed, thugs and criminal just ignore such things, and often don't even get around to saying sorry either.

If we, as a society, paid more attention within our Criminal Justice System to the act of reparation by the criminal, to the victim, we might find that not only would the criminal learn something of value, but the victim might feel that their hurt/injury/damage/loss, has been better considered as well.